Why Does My Doctor Tell Me Scary & Hurtful Things?
A person on Quora asked a question wanting to know why her doctor told her some very emotionally damaging things. This is my answer to her question based on 30-plus years in the world of medical and mental health as a provider in the conventional world of healthcare both mental and physical and that of hypnotism and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).
It is very sad that during medical training (which I opted out of for this very reason) that empathy is spoken of, yet the doctors and nurses never receive any from their instructors. They are trained to keep an emotional distance from their patients so that they don’t get emotionally harmed when terrible things happen to their patients — like having their patients die. I had brought this up during my nurses training to both the nurses who owned and ran the home care agency for elders that I worked at during this time and both my pharmacists. All of them told me that this was indeed the manner in which they were trained. That was 4 different people who gave me the same exact explanation. That isn’t to say that all medical personal are callous assholes as I have had some excellent doctors as did my mom during the time I took care of getting her to her medical appointments. It is to say that there are to many who just cannot be real human beings with their patients. This is a really huge problem with licensed mental health professionals many falsely believing that their degrees give them the knowledge to help their patients. Yet, without the trust and buy-in of their patients into the treatment there is not a damn thing they can do to help — many do much more harm because they are incapable of putting themselves into the mindset of their patients where they could better understand the mental/emotional world of their patients and thus meet them where they are at, and then help them get to where they need to go in terms of true healing. But here again without most of them knowing a thing about anatomy and physiology, relying on a bunch of theories, they are not in a position to help many of their patients who have psychological issues that are causing the symptoms that look like depression or anxiety but which may come from unbalanced hormones, chemicals in the food, leaky gut, neurological issues, side effects from the very medication that is suppose to help the problem, etc.
Much of the training is done to make sure that the medical professionals do not get too emotionally close to their patients. So, they are taught to have an emotional distance, which is what allows them to have a very poor bedside manner, and give out death sentences when they have no real way to know many times what the outcome could be for a patient who was actually given loving care — something that the empirical studies state will increase the likelihood of a patient overcoming pretty much any diagnosis given.
I have had many elders, my mom included scared by the manner in which they were spoken to along with the content of what was said. Worse I have had many younger clients complain to me in how their doctors spoke to them in an angry or distant manner and told them about the hopelessness of their diagnosis while never taking the ideas or concerns of their patients into consideration.
I. thank you for your question giving me that ability to speak the truth when many will go out of their way to state that my own and my clients’ experiences are not the norm. We need to realize that they have been indoctrinated into a system that disregards the needs of the body and mind forcing toxic medications that have many side effects and requiring more toxic medications to deal with the side effects because these folks have no idea of how the body actually was created to heal itself — thanks to the lack of understanding based on their chemically-based training — reductionist thinking, and lack of regard for the human element that all true healthcare requires for real root cause healing to occur.