What Happens When We Judge Others?
Today I want to speak about how we lose out on love from others because of the 3 seconds it takes us to make a judgment about them and how damaging this is.
If I were to ask you how anyone could get to know you in 3 seconds of assessment, my guess is that you would say it is impossible. When we think of how many dates it takes to get to know our significant other and even then sometimes we get it wrong — so perhaps we need to rethink what it takes to be able to get to know another person before deciding they are not worth our time and emotions. Because the reality is that too often we judge others who look ‘different’ from us without ever considering who they are as people. When we do this, we disallow some of the best people in the world to enter our lives — to help us learn more about the world, their culture, their manner of loving others.
From my own life’s experience, I can tell you that a 95-year-old high school dropout had more common sense than many I have had contact with who held Ph.Ds. and M.D.s. I have a client of mine who comes from the tough side of the street, full of tattoos and yet, somehow she managed to become a tenured professor who is doing all she can to bring some sanity to the world — I have learned and continue to learn a ton from her every time we interact. I feel blessed to have her in my life.
And, then there are all the people from all over the world who came to study at the University of Haifa’s International school. I was in classes with people from very different cultures than my own — those from various countries in Africa, Eastern Europe, Asia, etc. Some of the students were from countries that were enemies of the countries of other students yet they were all there to learn about peace and conflict management among nations (and non-nation-states) all interacting very respectfully and even coming to bond as a cohort. It was amazing to be a part of this experience especially at this late time in my own life.
You see, when I meet another person, I find myself endlessly curious about them. I want to learn everything I can about who they are, how they got to where they did, and a lot about their cultures, philosophies of life, and anything that brings out their individuality such as their interests. I can tell you that this way of approaching new people as done very well for me, especially in regards to my travels around the world. And, in so doing I have made many very great friends and have had few younger folks adopt me as their “American Mama.”
And then there are the older folks in my life such as the elders that I worked with during my 30s — a hundred or so Armenian elders who took me under their wing, being a Jewish person — Armenians and Jews get along great because of our love of education and sad histories. And, of course, there is my cousin who is now 91-years-old who always has words of wisdom for me, and my newest mentor, who is taking me on to be a part of his holistic healing hotel. Someone who has introduced me to the most amazing healers on the planet so far as I am concerned.
Learning: Instead of judging others in a few seconds, how about gaining a real curiosity for them to learn about who they are as they learn about who you are gaining a deep respect for one another along the way? How about we learn to love others for their spirit, their authenticity, and their humility as they get to know us for those same qualities?
***If you are a person who knows that you are judging others, most likely because of your own insecurity — the main reason this occurs, how about contacting me and we can see how my service could help you to connect better with others — opening your life to amazing people — and most importantly yourself. Because it is through our relationships with others that we do indeed learn much more about ourselves. You may contact me here:
https://dawningvisions.com/contact_suzanne/
I look forward to our conversation.
