Waking Up a Bit Too Late
For whatever reason I have been drawn to watching videos by people who have great belief and those who have lost their belief — mainly Christian de-transitioners. It has been an interesting study of how people come to their religious beliefs. And, for some how they lost their religious beliefs, especially difficult for those schooled in the bible who have led congregations for decades.
I am not here to argue for or against any given faith belief, but instead to bring up a piece of the last story of a de-transitioned Pastor of 25 years of the Baptist Church. He left the church after realizing at least for himself that much of what he has been believing was nothing more than a bunch of mythology at best. He lost many of his Christian friends over this change in his beliefs but has found a happier life even given the fact that he is in chronic pain from a couple of diagnoses, one of which is terminal.
He stated at the end of the interview that he has a bucket list of experiences that he wants to leave his wife, kids, and grandkids with that are fun memories of him once he has died. These are the things that he never had the time or inclination to do as he was moving from church to church over his career. Because he does not want those he loves the most to only recollect his last days as walking with a cane or stuck in a wheelchair. He wants to do these activities while he can.
Too often during this life, people get caught up in their day-to-day life never realizing that the best years of their life were wasted just ‘doing’ and never ‘being.’ Too often the ‘doing’ has little to do with the happy fun connections that we can make with those with whom we care about the most. We make all sorts of excuses for why we can’t find the time or do not have the money to do these important things, not just for those we love, but for ourselves to bring exceptional experiences into our lives that we can always draw on especially while we are going through a challenging time.
I can’t tell you the number of times I have been in challenging circumstances over the years and was able to recall some amazing experiences I had either halfway across the world or sitting in my kitchen hanging out with my best friends breaking bread. I cherish each and every one. I make it my first priority to create as many of these experiences as I can throughout my life. This is especially true for those who I know are getting up there in age and who I may not be able to see for a long while if ever again given the distance between us. I have been known to go out of my way to make that connection to spend that time with these people because it was important to do. In every case, amazing memories were created!
I have been truly blessed with people inviting me to take part in the most amazing experiences, inviting me to go for it when for someone else it was not the best financial decision, yet it was the best experience most needed at that time for the purpose for which it was chosen, and many times for purposes that were not fully realized sometimes till years later. These include my two trips to do amazing work in Africa in 2011 and 2013. Who knew that I would be sent on a weekend safari as an extra gift for traveling to my client’s home to provide treatment? I did not, till I arrived and my client’s father told me that this was part of the deal.
Life can be cut off at any time. I have had a few experiences in my life when my life most certainly could have been cut off the first occurring when I nearly drowned in an undertow while in the Atlantic Ocean in South Hampton in my early 20s. If it were not for the friend who I was swimming with that fine day, finding me and dragging me out on his back, I would have been no more. Experiences like that let you know firsthand that every day is a day to be respected and cared for doing those things that nourish one’s soul.
Stop putting your life off. Stop listening to those who want to put fear in you to stop you from living life on your own terms. Listen to your heart and do those things that matter to you, because in the end, it is for us to choose how to live our lives — nobody else.
And, do know that there will most certainly be those in your world who will think you are crazy, irresponsible, unreliable, and a whole lot of other negative characterizations. And, to be honest their opinions do not matter because they have their own reasons for having them.
I know that if I were to die tomorrow or even today, I have led a fun and fulling life based on fulfilling practically every goal I ever had. Did I make millions of dollars doing these things? No, I lost a whole lot of money on some of the projects that I have worked on, but I also know that I accomplished what I set out to do and a whole lot of other things that I never would have thought of on my own which I would never change for all the money in the world.
Get out now and see the greater world. There are amazing people and places to experience that allow one to see the magnificence of life. The more different their yours, the better.
Be a person who once on their deathbed can know that the life lived was full of fun, and fulfillment exploring those ideas and places that you were curious about while realizing the challenges never kept you down for long — you went for what you wanted and made it happen anyway.
Most of all let go of resentment of anyone or anything that you hold because these feelings are the feelings that have the capacity to develop ill health in one. I know how this works both on a personal and professional level. Free yourself from it by forgiving the person understanding that they must be having a difficult time for whatever reason and get on with living your life.
