MENTAL & EMOTIONAL FITNESS: ARE YOU WORTH IT?
I find it very odd to find that some people who have been whiling away thousands of hours of their precious time on social media (many Facebook groups, Linkedin groups, and watching Youtube videos) complaining of loveless marriages, being depressed all the time, being anxious all the time, having such fuzzy minds they are unable to make or keep the appointments made will not invest the time and money in themselves to gain a better quality of life.
I find this particularly hard to understand having been in a place back in the late 1980s when I would do anything to get the help I needed — anything at all sick of being sick, sick of being stuck in life. Sick of not having the basic things in life that my contemporaries during our post-college years had. They were being married, buying homes, and were in careers that were working for them.
No, what I had was a week full of psych appointments one for individual counseling, one for group counseling, and a psychiatrist visit to monitor the lithium levels that I was on only to be overmedicated anyway. I was married at the time, but that was about it for many years.
It took me 15 YEARS to FINALLY be HEALED. That’s right folks, a decade and a half! I never gave up on the goal of being psychiatrist, psychologist, medical doctor, and prescription free!
I guess those of you who just love pissing and moaning about your problems on social media find something in getting people to feel sorry for you, weigh in on how sad your life is, and maybe if you are lucky receive some actual helpful input from someone in the group.
But this is the reality: NO ONE is going to be healed of major life issues of mental illness, physiological problems, or a loveless marriage through a FB group- even one with someone who is a professional at helping others as its administrator.
Because, your situation, personality, and desires are totally different than anyone else’s. Your rate of being able to work through the traumas both physical and emotional depending on the root cause of your problems is going to be different than anyone else.
So, if you actually want to be healed you are going to have to be real with yourself and invest the time and money that it takes to make that happen with a practitioner that has a proven record of being able to help people with a similar problem as your own.
HOW DO YOU FIND SUCH A PERSON?
Good question, because those who are licensed to practice are unable to allow their patients to tell their own stories of healing because it goes against the confidentiality clause in their association rules of engagement. However, you can certainly go to their Linkedin page and their website to see what they have to explain the type of education that they have had and all their various licensures and certifications. Hopefully, they have written articles you can read or made videos that you can watch to prove their expertise in the issues that are killing your quality of life.
For the unlicensed, it is easier because we don’t have any restrictions on adults telling their stories of healing (Freedom of Speech in the Constitution allows for that) of which I have many on my website. Some have opted to use their real names, others use first name and last initial, and some just their initials — it doesn’t matter because, in each of their stories, they tell you the emotional/physical state that they were in when they first employed me, then what a pain in the ass I am in holding them accountable to do the work during the session and any homework that they needed to do between sessions, and lastly how their lives were after they completed the work with me.
I know for myself that if I am going to entrust my brain to someone, I would prefer to know that they have many success stories for helping people like me, especially after the hell I went through with many who hadn’t a clue how to help me and in some instances harmed me. I had some seriously horrible psychiatrists at the start of my healing process who demeaned me and didn’t listen to me regarding my inability to function on the amount of medication I was on. I got very lucky in the area of psychologists however, having a great one who made all the psychiatric changes till I landed with the one I had for 13 years of treatment. I followed her through all of her fellowships from office to office till she had her own practice.
You know, we get reviews for restaurants, movies, and any gadget we may want to purchase, and yet, when there is no way to know that the person that I am employing to help me with my mental health has a great track record — it makes zero sense to me at all — that may just be me.
For those who have written me testimonials of their healing process, many go back 18 years or more now my having been in practice for 20 years. In many cases, I am still in contact with them and they are doing great!
This is the type of information you want to see on any unlicensed professional’s website — those where certifications prove they have been educated, but where state licensure does not exist such as the practice of hypnotism and Neuro-Linguistic programming which is my situation.
SO HOW DO YOU CHOOSE YOURSELF OVER YOUR FEAR OF DOING THE WORK, FEAR OF SPENDING THE MONEY, FEAR OF NOT BEING READY ENOUGH?
You make the decision that you are ready to be mentally and emotionally fit if not for yourself, but for those who love you and would prefer to have you be healthy and easier to live with. In so doing you get a much better life in the deal.
You choose to understand that you are never going to be able to do this on your own because you recognize that you haven’t been able to do it yet…and some of you have spent decades in this rather sad condition.
Lastly, you realize that whatever you do even if it doesn’t turn out great, is a step in the direction of finding out how to heal. You keep looking for the right person to finally heal you along with the healing modality that will work best for you.
WHY IS IT THAT IN MANY CASES IT ISN’T THE CONVENTIONAL WAY?
Because sometimes there are other physiological issues that are causing the symptoms of mental illness and sometimes there are mental health issues caused by physiological issues like unbalanced hormones which need a professional who can handle these aspects of healing.
A functional doctor or compounding pharmacist who can get you the correct tests to find out the true cause of the emotional dysregulation may be the correct person to diagnose you.
That is what I had to do when I was suffering from adrenal fatigue and very low amounts of all of my sex hormones 6 years after my hysterectomy. The doctors in the hospital could not deal with the fact that this had zero to do with my previous history of bipolar 2 and bronchial asthma(both healed in 2004) and everything to do with my current history (at that time 2006).
So, I get that it isn’t easy to find the right person to help you, because I have been through it myself.
Currently, there is no health history for me of my previous health issues because they have nothing to do with my current status and haven’t since 2004. Sometimes that is what one needs to do to get the actual problem looked at, sadly enough.
SO MY QUESTIONS TO YOU ARE SIMPLY THESE:
Are you sick of being sick? Are you sick of being stuck?
Are you sick of being stuck in your life to the point where you are ready to actually research the different types of professionals that are out there to help you instead of depending on folks who do not and never will have the ability to help you overcome your issues?
Because it is on you to do the work to find the help that you need — no one else can do that for you.
Many times one will need to work with someone who is not covered by their health insurance, so you will be paying out of pocket for the services you need.
This was indeed true for me as well for my psychiatrist during part of the time I employed her, the lab tests, the compounded hormones, and the neuro-linguistic services that finally healed me.
Once you have found what you feel is the correct practitioner to help you, it is up to you to do your best to heal. Because the practitioner can’t do that for you either, they can ONLY FACILITATE it to the degree that you allow them to.
That is the reality folks!
True healing takes a real commitment to do whatever it takes to heal — PERIOD!