How Exactly Does One Let Go Of Anorexia & Bulimia?
I don’t know if you realize this, but a person can have both anorexia and bulimia at different times. I actually have had a couple of clients where this was the manner in which their eating disorder showed up.
What happens is that the client would find that sometimes they would be doing very restrictive eating. Then something would trigger them out of that, and they would go to the opposite pole and binge eat 10s of thousands of calories.
One has to keep in mind that all of the behavior shows up as a defense mechanism formed by one’s unconscious mind to protect the individual from harm. So, to overcome these eating disorders we need to understand why the defense mechanism was put into place and the purpose that it is still serving because there is ALWAYS a purpose behind keeping a behavior, or it would not continue.
You see, the eating disorder is merely the symptom that something is wrong, something is really causing some really deep emotional pain, and it is the cause of that emotional pain that we need to find and heal as thoroughly as possible. The subconscious/unconscious mind of the client is what allows us to find the cause.
Once that is done we can get rid of the actual eating disorder by letting go of the compulsive thoughts and impulsive behavior that is the eating disorder.
Lastly, we need to help you form healthy emotional boundaries with those you interact while learning how to better respect other people’s boundaries. Because it is only when we are overrunning other people’s boundaries that others will be overrunning ours. Interestingly enough, most people have no idea that they are even doing this. However, it is true, especially with folks with eating disorders in the manner in which they expect others to be as perfect as they want themselves to be — which is an impossibly high standard for any human being to reach — just saying…
The problem with the conventional methods of treating eating disorders is the focus on food. This is the wrong order in which to help someone heal from eating disorders. One cannot deal with the food issues, till one deals with the traumas that were the cause of the eating disorder to develop. Once that is accomplished we can work on letting go of the thoughts and behaviors that are the eating disorder(s), and finally, work on creating safe emotional boundaries.
However, there is one more item that the conventional mental health folks never look at and that is the reason why anyone would go through this treatment because it is long and hard. The missing ingredient would be a ‘compelling future’ that is so enticing that it is more than worth putting the eating disorders and any other label the mental health pros gave you, such as having any sort of anxiety disorder (of which obsessive-compulsive disorder is one ) and depression. Generally when the eating disorder gets far enough along these other illnesses will show themselves as well, all for their own reasons.
The way we can get the food situation under control is by doing the addictions work to let that all go because an addiction is the obsessive thoughts that lead to an impulsive behavior that causes harm, yet one cannot stop the behavior.
And, then we learn how to eat healthy food that you love, in the quantity that gives you a full satisfied feeling without feeling overly full as well as giving your body the nutrition it needs to function well. You know that you have the mark when any negative symptoms such as weakness, lack of being able to get enough sleep, over-exercising, and of course letting go of all the obsession over food no matter which side of the pole you are on.
Best of all you have a healthy love and respect for yourself, having let go of the self-loathing that almost every anorexic and bulimic client I have had stated they felt about themselves when we began working together.
And, that allows one to go forward in life to do those things that you want to do, live your dreams and that is a very beautiful thing indeed.