A Story of Going From “Victim” to “Victor” Through Deep Healing

I want to share an incredible story with you regarding what is possible when one is willing to both do the work and invest in one’s mental health.

Back in February, I had a potential client reach out to me for some help. She had already been through conventional therapy, and was on medication for her emotional issues (and still is) yet, she was so depressed and anxious she was unable to function.

Here was a woman who had been through terrible physical and emotional abuse, not only by her then-partner but also had been physically and emotionally harmed by others in her past. This is the usual way things happen because our personalities attract certain types of people to us. If we are seen as weak, preditors will indeed manipulate us into their world of evil doing. They will be really nice to begin, and then cause a ton of misery once one is engulfed by their dastardly ways.

At the beginning of our work together she had a very difficult time attending to what we were doing, eating, cleaning, doing anything but attending to the work she was paying me to do with her as we worked online.

After a couple of stern talks with her over our next few sessions, she was able to fully attend.

At this point, 6 months later, she has gone from being ‘a victim’ to being the ‘victor’ as she has found her own voice and is going to bring the last person who harmed her to justice through the criminal court system. This is a really emotionally difficult thing to do as victims of domestic abuse are more often victimized through the system — however, this particular woman has a victim’s advocate to help her through the process. More importantly, she is taking a stand to stop this from happening to her ever again and later to protect another woman this man may victimize.

Lastly, as we were speaking in our last session together she feels compelled to help others through the criminal system of justice once she has concluded her own court case.

I bring this up because I want you all to know that to remain a ‘victim’ to your circumstances is your choice, by making the decision to continue whining about all the things that are wrong with your life, blaming others for your unhappiness without ever considering the fact that you can make the decision to empower yourself instead. To use those things that have once harmed you, to do better in the world using that which you learned in whatever ways are best for your talents and interests.

But it takes guts to really work through these issues, and it takes the ability to follow through with your treatment instead of playing the “You are hurting me’ card when your practitioner is being ‘real’ with you.

It takes the realization that being on the other side of your situation, life can be happy and fulfilled, maybe in ways that you never realized before, because you never experienced it before.

But it is all on YOU! No one can help you to make that decision to heal — and no one can force you to heal.

You have to decide that your life is worth more than negativity, depression, anxiety, and victimhood.

You have to realize that you can indeed be the ‘victor’ and have a life that is better than anything that you could possibly see now while you are being strangulated by your own negative emotions and beliefs.

You can indeed create a life that is amazing — by choosing to make that your reality.

It is up to you to put yourself first for once and go for it!